Well. That plateau ended rather sooner than I expected.

The last 24 hours have been intensely uncomfortable. I'm being barraged by my inability to operate at a higher level of thinking about community catalyzing and facilitation, technologies, and hacking than I'm used to. I'm expected to be able to assimilate this on my own, without hand-holding, and struggling to articulate my confusion into questions that can help me find my own way.

I am incredibly happy about this - I am learning. It feels good to be lost, to be off that plateau - even if it means I'm now in the painful backslide phase of notching my abilities up to the next level. I just have to stick in there and fight the temptation to fall back into being just okay, and being comfortable.

I'm also expecting to be barraging this blog with posts sorting out the same, once I've forced myself to fight through the worst of this confusion as fast as I can handle it. The last few weeks (months?) of sheer exhaustion have sapped me more than I'd like to admit, and now I have to learn how to perform through yet another layer of tiredness, to deal capably with more pressure and more chaos while still taking care of myself so that I can be pushed further without causing damage that I can't repair.

I'm happy to be tossed around, bewildered, transcribing, recording, absorbing, absorbing, absorbing, and absorbing. The question is how well I'll be able to share the lessons that I'm learning.