Happy.
Somewhere in between riding in Andy's car talking about startups, brainstorming with Matt (who took me to Jessica's Renewable Energy course design pow-wow), working on Joe's online portfolio, being mobbed in the dining hall, geeking out with Bonnie on reading journal articles, having dinner with Chris, Liz, Nikki, and Greg, and riding back to the train in a Jeep on a beautiful clear night, I realized I was happy. Really, really happy.
And that I had been happy for... a long time. Not just excited, but actually happy - deeply content - and at the same time, I was relaxing. For the first time in my life (or at least the first time after 5th grade), I'm relaxing for an indefinite period of time and I'm... okay with that. No, thrilled with that.
If that's the only thing I take away from the past 4 months, that time was well spent. How to be content and comfortable and energized in stillness, solitude, and self-direction.
I'm not in stillness and solitude and a low workload very often, mind you... but now I can cope with it if it comes, and I know how to carve that time and space out if I need it.
On another note: So many friends coming this weekend! It is wonderful to see people now - it will be wonderful to see more come tomorrow and over the next 3 days for Olin's 4th graduation. (And then my freshmen will be seniors - how the blazes did that happen?)
I'm not particularly eloquent tonight, I realize. I'm pretty tired (gently tired, not exhausted like I'd have to be a few years back before I noticed it) and it's time for bed - I just wanted to get that down.