Blast from the past
Found this while hunting for my openid URL. Whoa, but it's over 1/3 of my life.)
From my first blog post ever, age 15:
Also started making more sketches for yggdrasil. It's a computer game that me and some friends are making for next year's inquiry- I'm doing the art. Tons of fun, especially with the graphics tablet- it makes life so much easier until I can get to them live with a sketchbook.
I've told this story before - yggdrasil is That Project, the one where I looked over the shoulders of my yggdrasil teammates and saw some weird symbols on their computer screen. "What's that?" "C++." "What's that?" "It's a programming language." "What's programming?" (Also, "Me and some friends"? And I thought my grammar was bad now.)
At 16, at the start of my last semester of high school:
Haven't learned how to relax, really, yet... Sleep gets the short end of the stick... I'm a lot less self-conscious than I used to be, but there's still a little residue of it behind, which I'm attempting to exorcise. I still think I'm an idiot, mostly because it motivates me to try harder not to be an idiot.
Looking forward to college, but not quite willing to leave. I'm not particularly being pulled one way or the other most of the time; it's pretty much in equilibrium. Whatever restlessness I feel when I look out the window at 3 AM is usually counteracted by the foreboding sense of doom that sometimes comes when I'm surrounded by friends, talking and laughing, and realizing we've got four months to go. Well, it's not exactly a foreboding sense of doom. It's kind of like a deep sadness that everything has to pass. Only that's the way it goes. Oh well.
I'm content and very often happy. On the rare occasions I'm not happy - splitting-at-the-seams happy - I'm usually sleepy. I've calmed down and gotten less hyperactive since sophomore year, but my brain processes still parallel a 6th grader's. Still an idealist- very much so. That probably will never change.
This morning, I think I finally came close enough to my breaking point to see it, recognize it, and know a little of how to manage it. So I'm human. And I have limitations. It's a good experience to have. You can bet, though, that I'm going to be pushing that breaking point more... see if I can get it any farther up. Overclocking the Mel, so to speak.
18, summer after my first year at college, working as a TAing for a C++ class at Northwestern:
I'm going to be a teacher, but maybe not the kind I thought I would be.
And indeed this turned out to be totally correct.